I promised a blog entry for Matt, long ago. Here it is now, I proudly present, enjoy it!
Since I've been working on a hotline myself, I'm becoming sensitive to hotlines. Questionable hotlines. I mean, my hotline is a sensible one. If you're stuck in an elevator - I'm there. I'm the voice that means recue to the poor souls suffering from claustrophobia. I'm like Mother Theresa. I'm charity. (I get paid, though). All in all, my hotline is a good thing.
Yet, have you noticed that there are hotlines everywhere? I bought a bottle of milk the other day and - I'm not making this up - there it said: "Please call our free fresh hotline!" I started wondering, if maybe this hotline is a 24h non stop one, like mine, and what problems one could have with the milk bottle which would make a person call that hotline.
I started some research work and came up with really interesting results. Everything has a hotline. I browsed through the labels we had at home and soon had a list of several free phone numbers.
NÖM (milk) - 0800/800500
Rama, Kuner Mayonaise - 0810/200780 (not totally free unfortunately, but very cheap)
Palmolive shower gel - 08000/123965
Persil - 0800/3658633
Blend-a-med tooth paste - 0800/201646
Swiffer - 0800/552686
I could come up with even more, these are just those I found in ten minutes.
Now, having aquired such valuable knowledge about hotlines, I have some ideas/requests/wishes.
1. Please, give me one of those call center jobs!!!
2. @Matt: I know, you happen to have a lot of spare time on some days, would you please call up those numbers. You're the perfect customer. "Hi, I'm American and just moved to Austria, so I'm not yet familiar with all your national customs...so, how exactly am I supposed to apply my shower gel? What? You mean not, as pasta sauce? Aha..."
3. I would like to call the Blend-a-med hotline in the middle of the night, totally freaked out, yelling: "Oh my God, I forgot to brush my teeth, I will get Karies, please help me!"
4. Matt, we could actually spend one funny lazy free morning together calling all those hotlines and improving the English skill of the ladies working there. Think about that!
Maybe, just maybe, my new job is making me crazy. Just a little bit. Maybe I want to take a little tiny revenge on life for having children calling me for fun, pretending to be stuck in an elevator. Maybe I'm just a very very manic woman.